Advice On Dealing With Multiple Changes In Life—Including A Recent Divorce

Dear Dr. Bill,

I’ve read that men can make a move for a job and find it exciting, while women tend to view this kind of change as unsettling and scary.  My personal experience supports this, as I’ve been going through one of the most stressful times of my life — because of a divorce, a move, and a new job.

Many of my friends don’t understand why I’m not “excited” about these new changes and opportunities.  They can’t believe that I’m feeling depressed and experiencing anxiety right now.  What should I do?


Dear Laura,

Given the significant changes in your life, it’s not unusual that you’d be feeling somewhat depressed and anxious.

Research has shown that going through a divorce is one of the most stressful life events in a person’s life.  Add to that the stress of a new job, and it’s no wonder you’re struggling.

If your friends are unable to offer you encouragement and support in the face of these changes, perhaps you need to find some new friends.

The bible tells us a lot about what healthy relationships should look like.  We thrive best when we surround ourselves with people who will accept our faults, encourage us, pray for us, and are willing to bear our burdens.

If you’re not involved in a local church, find one.  I’d also recommend that you read the book “Safe People,” by psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

It will teach you how to find relationships that are good for you and to become the sort of person that God wants you to be.  It will also help you identify the characteristics of a healthy church, where you can find the support and encouragement you need.

Thanks for writing, Laura.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” tab on the Family Expert page.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Shine Family Expert