Walking-It-Out If You Are Re-Married

It’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons and it’s another “Walk-it-out-Wednesday.”  If you’ve listened to me on the New Shine.FM you’ve probably heard me mention that I’m a guy who is a statistic. Yeah, I’m one of the 40-plus percent of Christians who are divorced. I’m not proud of it and for a long time I didn’t think God would ever use me again.  WRONG-O!!  I do know that when I prayed about getting re-married, I asked God to help me not make some of the same mistakes I did the first time.  What about you?  If you are re-married, how are you “walking-it-out-differently” this time?  And if you are not remarried, but still in your first marriage…Keep God first—and we’re praying for you here at the New Shine.FM!

What’s Your Love Story?

Happy Valentine’s Day from the New Shine.FM! Today I’m remembering the day I fell in love with my wife Andrea, yup it’s my “love story.” She owned a horse and wanted to teach my four children how to ride (yeah…all four in one day). It was a hot, humid August day, she didn’t have any make-up on and I watched here take time to love on my kids and tenderly teach each one about horses and how to ride. That was it for me!! How about you? What’s your “Love Story?” Would you share it with me this afternoon?

~ Garrett

Marriage & Sexuality

Dear Dr. Bill,

I was recently ordained as a pastor and I’ve been asked to perform the wedding of a young couple in their mid-20s.  If I do, it will be my first, and I’ve asked to meet with them for some premarital counseling.  The woman grew up in church but I don’t think she attends regularly and I don’t know anything about her fiancées spiritual background.  What I do know is that they are currently living together.

I know what the Bible says about avoiding sexual immorality and being unequally yoked.  But I want to communicate the truth in love.  Do you have any suggestions?


Dear Mike,

I appreciate your heart and your commitment to sharing God’s intent for marriage and sexuality with this couple.

My suggestion would be to meet with them before agreeing to perform the ceremony.  If you believe that the young woman has made a commitment to Christ but that her fiancée has not, offer to meet with them to teach about God’s design for marriage, but tell them you will not be able to officiate at their wedding.

Explain that the bible is very clear that Christians are not to marry outside the faith, and that unless the woman’s fiancée is willing to make a commitment to Christ, you can’t bless their wedding.

You might also offer to meet with the young man individually for a few months, teaching him about the basics of the Christian faith.  You may even have an opportunity to lead him to Christ.

If both of them do profess to be Christians, it may be that they are simply biblically illiterate and need to be educated about God’s design for sexuality.  If they are willing to live separately for a time and pursue sexual purity, you could then agree to see them for premarital counseling and perform the wedding.

Thanks for writing, Mike.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

Married Women = Healthy Hearts

The fringe benefits of marriage can go way beyond new flatware and a tax write-off.  According to a new study, married people, especially women, have healthier hearts.  In fact, single women are more than 60% more likely to suffer a heart attack.  Check out the stats in Lisa’s Home School.

Fill In The Blank

Can you fill in the blank this afternoon?  I love it when my husband/wife _____________________________________?

~ Garrett

Intentionally Loving Your Spouse: How Are You Walking-It-Out?

Hey it’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons and it’s a “Walk-It-Out Wednesday!” And since it’s the month of love, how are you doing with intentionally loving your spouse (even on those hard days)? Whether you’ve been married 10 days, 10 months, 10 years or longer, it’s a good thing to look at how you are “walking it out” with the spouse God gave you. So how about it?

Chris August “Restore”

Chris August shares with the New Shine.FM about his new song “Restore”.

Want To Improve Your Marriage? Try Getting More SLEEP!

Want to improve your marriage?  Try getting more SLEEP!

According to a story in the Boston Globe, a new study has found that adequate sleep is a crucial component for a healthy relationship.

Researchers from the University of California studied sleep patterns in couples, and they found that lack of sleep can put strain on your marriage.

They had 60 couples keep sleep diaries and then videotaped them while engaging them in problem-solving tasks. Those who had just a few hours of sleep the night before were less likely to appreciate their partner’s help with these tasks.

Also, they were much less likely to use words like “please” and “thank you,” compared to those couples who got an adequate amount of sleep.

The Globe article says blame it on crankiness from lack of sleep — or perhaps resentment over a partner’s snoring that left them tired the next day — but couples who don’t sleep well are less likely to value their partners.

Amie Gordon, a UC Berkeley psychologist and the lead investigator of the study, says “Poor sleep may make us more selfish as we prioritize our own needs over our partner’s.”

She says one solution is to make an extra effort to say thank you to your significant other on days when you don’t sleep well, realizing that you’re probably going to be snapping more than usual.  Also, make a point to catch up on sleep the following night.

Not only can sufficient sleep improve your relationships, but it will protect your immune system, improve your mood, and lower your risk of heart disease, diabetes, and obesity.

I’m Bill Maier for Shine.FM.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

If Money Were Not An Issue…Where Would You Take Your Spouse For Your Anniversary?

It’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons and if money was not an issue…where would you take your spouse for your anniversary? I told my wife Andrea on Friday night that if money didn’t matter I would take her back to Hawaii where we spent our honeymoon. How about you? Oh…this is a picture of us on our honeymoon. We drove up to the summit of Mt. Haleakala (a volcano) on the island of Maui.

What’s Your Marriage Milestone?

Hey it’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons.  Eleven years ago today I married the most incredible woman on the planet. I was a man who was divorced, broken, AND raising 4-kids, but yet she saw some “potential” in me, fell in love with me, said she wanted to have a “great adventure” with me and became my wife. This is one of those milestone days for me and I just want to say “I love you babe” and Happy
Anniversary!  What about you….do you have a great “marriage milestone” story to share today?