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12 Effective Ways To Boost Your Kid’s Self-Esteem

Self-confidence is important for all children. It’s the foundation upon which they base their self-worth and decisions that will one day impact everything they do. In today’s Home School find out ways to boost their self-esteem.

Does Your Teenager Seem Depressed?

Does your teenager seem depressed?  If so, listen up.

According to a new national study, 1 in 25 U.S. teens has attempted suicide, and 1 in eight has thought about it.

Reuters.com reports on the study, which was conducted by Harvard University.

The results are based on in-person interviews of 6,500 teenagers in the U.S., as well as questionnaires filled out by their parents.

In addition to asking the young people about their suicidal thoughts or attempts, interviewers also determined which teens fit the bill for a range of mental disorders.

Just over 12 percent of the youth had thought about suicide, and 8 percent had made a suicide plan or actually attempted suicide.

The researchers found that almost all teens who thought about or attempted suicide had a diagnosable mental disorder, including depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or problems with drug or alcohol abuse.

Dr. Matthew Nock, the psychologist who led the study, says doctors need to get better at figuring out which kids are most at risk of putting themselves in danger.

Once those youth are identified, researchers will also have to determine the best way to treat them.

If your teen seems depressed, reports feelings of hopelessness, talks about death, or starts giving away prized possessions, consult a mental health professional immediately.

For more information on teen depression and suicide, visit the American Psychological Association‘s website.

I’m Bill Maier for Shine.FM.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

Do You Make Your Kids Write Thank-You Notes?

Hey it’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons and over the weekend we were FINALLY finishing up thank-you notes with our kiddos for gifts they received over Christmas.  It wasn’t easy, and my 10-year old Kathryn thought grandma would be fine with a text.  Do you encourage your kids to write thank-you notes for gifts they receive, is an email good enough?  I’d love to hear what you do in your home.

He’s Generally A Good Kid

Dear Dr. Bill,

We recently received two calls from our 11-year-old son’s teacher.  The first time, she told us he wouldn’t stop tapping the desk with his pencil, pretending that he’s playing the drums.  The 2nd time, he kicked another boy’s pencil out into the hallway.

Our son is generally a good kid, so we’re mystified by this behavior.  What do you suggest we do?

–Lisa

Dear Lisa,

You mention that your son is “generally a good kid.”  Are you saying that this is the first time he’s displayed this type of behavior in school?  If so, then it’s likely that there is something going on in his life that is prompting his acting out in the classroom.

Have there been any significant changes or stresses in his life in recent months?  For example, has your son suffered some kind of loss or have you and your husband been experiencing marital conflict?

Unexpressed feelings of sadness or anger could explain why a previously well-behaved child would suddenly begin to exhibit behavior such as you mention.  It’s also possible that his behavior is a cry for attention, perhaps because he’s not receiving enough of your time or attention at home.

On the other hand, if your son has been in trouble at school before, and this is simply a continuation of a previous pattern, then you’ve got much bigger fish to fry.

The best strategy moving forward is to provide your son with a healthy balance of love and limits. Partner with your son’s teacher to set up a system of rewards and punishments.  That way he’ll know there will be unpleasant consequences at home when he misbehaves in the classroom.

Thanks for writing, Lisa.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

Remember Mom & Dad….they are watching!

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 A great reminder this afternoon. ~ Garrett

The Center Of Attention

Dear Dr. Bill,

My husband and I have a darling little girl who has the classic chubby cheeks, Shirley Temple curls, and a wonderful sweet personality to match.  Ever since she was a baby, everyone in the family — grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc., have loved to dote on her.  But now that she’s 4-years-old, I’m wondering if she’ll ever grow out of this “cute baby” phase.  She loves being the center of attention and will “perform” on cue if given the opportunity.  Is this normal, healthy behavior?  What, if anything, should we be doing differently?

–Erica

Dear Erica,

Given what you’ve told me, it’s no wonder your daughter will “perform on cue” for her relatives.  After all, she’s been receiving positive reinforcement for her performances since she was a toddler.

The danger is that she’ll grow up to believe that her value is based on her looks and her performance, not on her character.  The bible tells us that “man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  What matters to Him are a humble heart and a life that displays the “Fruit of the Spirit”—qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The good news is that you mention your daughter has a wonderful sweet personality, so it doesn’t sound like the attention she’s received has caused her to be overly spoiled

I’d suggest you work at praising her when she displays positive character traits, like kindness, honesty, and compassion for others.  Look for “teachable moments” to talk about why these characteristics are the things that God truly values.

In addition, look for opportunities to teach her how to serve others, whether that’s helping to care for a neighbor’s pet when they’re on vacation, or donating some of her toys to a local homeless shelter.

Thanks for writing Erica.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

Fit Generation: 9 Fun Ways to Sneak Fitness Into Your Day

Fun, everyday ways to sneak fitness in with your kid. Plus, get healthy eating tips, exercise ideas, and more ways to shape up with Parenting’s Fit Generation!

By Shaun Dreisbach
1. Hit the playground!“It’s honestly better — and far more fun — than any gym,” says Stefko. The monkey bars and mini-rock wall build upper-body muscle. Jumping off the climbing structures boosts bone density and leg strength. Heck, even the swings can be a good core workout. It’s like an outside circuit course.
2. Play a game. Kick-ball, tag, jumping rope, wheelbarrow races — they’re classics that absolutely count toward your child’s daily activity requirement. For younger kids, try Move Like an Animal (it’s a huge hit with the children Stefko works with). Call out the name of a critter and challenge your child to mimic the way it moves: hop like a frog, balance on one leg like a flamingo, stretch like a cat, and so on.
3. Speed wash the car. Kill two birds with one sponge: Get that heart rate up and make the family car spotless. See how fast you can get it soaped, scrubbed, and hosed down—and try to best it next time.
4. Check out a class. Take your child to an open gym at the local gymnastics center and let her try out the equipment, or head to the indoor climbing wall or skate park for a lesson. One-offs like this are good because they let your kid try out a bunch of different activities to see what she likes best — without the time and money commitment of full-on, three-days-a-week lessons (which your child may end up hating).
5. Use people power. Ditch the car and walk or bike when you can. Pedal to the pool, playground, or pizza shop, and trek the mile to school on foot.
6. Inspire her. “Bring your kid to a sporting event — a Major League Baseball game or a high school volleyball match — so she can see and be motivated by the athletes,” suggests Stefko. Before or after the game, kick around a ball together, shoot baskets, or play a little backyard volleyball.
7. Wobble hobble. Have your child place a water balloon between his knees and race to the finish line without dropping it. In just 15 minutes, he’ll burn nearly 70 calories. Perfect for summer playdates. Benefits: cardio, coordination, balance, mood booster.
8. Backyard bowling. This is the sneaky-fitness version of “reduce, reuse, recycle.” Grab empty plastic bottles from the recycling bin and set them up like bowling pins. Take turns trying to knock them down with a soccer ball or kickball. Benefits: cardio, flexibility, balance, coordination
9. Garden party. Help your child choose some fruits and veggies to grow, plot out the garden, and tend the plants. (Hint: Opt for lower-maintenance items like tomatoes, zucchini, and carrots—kids have been known to forget a watering or two!) This idea is a better-health tri-fecta: Digging and planting is serious activity, it’s something fun the whole fam can get involved in, and you get super-fresh, organic food out of the deal. Don’t have room? Volunteer at a local community garden. Benefits: strength, cardio, flexibility, mood booster.

Instead of Spanking Your Kids, Try These 10 Effective Alternatives

A study published in the July issue of the journal Pediatrics discovered a link between adult-onset mental health disorders – including substance abuse and anxiety – and childhood physical punishment – including spanking – thereby begging the question: How should parents discipline their kids?

1. Cool down first. Never discipline when you feel angry with what your child has done. –Deborah Chelette-Wilson

2. Take a time-out. – Deborah Chelette-Wilson

3. Give the child time to calm down. Your child will not hear your message if he/she is stressed out. –Deborah Chelette-Wilson

4. Listen to your child. After you both have calmed down listen to what your child has to say about his/her behavior. – Deborah Chelette-Wilson

5. Understand the reason for your child’s misbehavior. Armed with an understanding of your child’s thinking, you may find that the misbehavior is really a reactive child engaging in a developmentally expectable behavior that needs your guidance, rather than punishment. – Deborah Chelette-Wilson

6. Tell your child what was wrong and what is right. When considering how to help the child, reassure him/her of your love and then explain why the behavior was not okay and what he/she needs to do next time. This is the behavior you want. Too often we tell children what not to do and leave off what they need to do. – Deborah Chelette-Wilson

7. Take a breath. Spanking often happens when you’re so frustrated you don’t know what else to do. So, take a breath, count to ten, and tell your child you need a few minutes to think it through. This will give you time to calmly think about a next step, or ask for help. (And you’ll be modeling a great problem-solving technique!) – Fern Weis 8. Turn the situation into a learning experience. What you really want is for your child to learn something. Punishments (like spanking or taking something away) teach him/her to become clever at getting around you and your rules. But they don’t make kids more cooperative. – Fern Weis

9. Give your kid more responsibility with age. With tweens and teens, you lose trust and credibility when you pile on the rules and punishments. They’re old enough to be part of a conversation and understand how their actions are inappropriate, or affect others.. This is the time for you to hand off responsibility to your tween or teen, not be in a power struggle. – Fern Weis

10. Provide your child with a choice. No matter what their age, kids like to have choices. They feel they have some control, and are less likely to have a tantrum or give you the attitude that leads to everyone having a meltdown. – Fern Weis

Written By Fern Weis And
 Deborah Chelette-Wilson For YourTango.com.

Before You Live Together

Dear Dr. Bill,

My boyfriend and I are talking about marriage.  We live in different states and would like to save money for our wedding, so we’re thinking about sharing an apartment.  I have a 6-year-old daughter who loves this man dearly.  The plan is for my boyfriend to have his own room and I would share the other with my daughter.  What do you think?

–Jessica

Dear Jessica,

If you and your boyfriend are Christians and are committed to purity, I think this plan is a bad idea.  Although your intentions may be good, you will be subjecting yourselves to a tremendous amount of temptation.  The bible tells us to “flee from sexual immorality” and to live in a way that is “holy and honorable.”

You also need to consider the message that this living arrangement would send to your daughter.  God’s design for sexuality is that it is a beautiful gift, meant be shared between a husband and wife in a life-long, committed marital relationship.

If that is the message you want your daughter to learn, you will be sending her a confusing, mixed message by living with your boyfriend—even if you are able to resist temptation.

If you and your boyfriend are already physically involved, you should know that the research on cohabitation isn’t pretty.  Couples who live together before marriage have a 60-80% higher divorce rate.  They have higher rates of domestic violence and are more likely to be unfaithful.

Also, if a couple lives together and the woman becomes pregnant, there is a high likelihood that the relationship will end within two years, leaving her to raise the child on her own.

Let me recommend an excellent book that will help you make wise decisions in your relationship.  It’s entitled “Before You Live Together” by Dave Gudgel.

Thanks for writing Jessica.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.

Click here for the audio version of this article.

5 Reasons Every Parent Should Beware of Instagram

You think you’ve got your kids under control when it comes to Facebook and their security settings? Think again. My 13-years old is now using Instagram and I found out it’s whole other ballgame when it comes to concerns. Here are some things you should be cautious about.